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Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Hey there again my little xanga page.
So lifes been pretty average lately. Can't pay my rent cos my boss won't pay me for the close to 100 hours that i've worked. Dyed my hair, which turned out just awful. Broke my arm, which means i can't work. Boy left me for one of my friends, then things got messy and complicated.
But, i have interviews and parties in the next 3 days so hopefully everything will stop being shit and start being awesome.

Saturday, 01 August 2009

books and broken hearts

"i've realised what i am. i'm the book you were reading when the final harry potter book came out. you were half way through me. and we were fast approaching the "happliy ever after" but then this other book came out. not nessicarily better, infact, in may lead to a bit of a let down. it was just that you were so excited about this other book, and anticepated so much from it, that when it came out you forgot all about the book you were perfectly happy to be readin the day before. and now you'll never know how it ends"

its pretty well bullshit that i still miss you.
even more bullshit that i stayed home tonight because i didn't want to see you with her.
more bullshit still that we are no longer together and i am still missing mates birthdays because of you.
get out of my head. get out of my life. i know i'm out of yours, so how is this fair?

Friday, 31 July 2009

Jams and i get quotey

me and jams were having a D&M and decided we needed to sum it up. so we wrote a heap of quotes, trying to find a good one.
here are some of em.
please credit to us, as we wrote these
The key to the successful journey isn't where you're going it's remembering where you came from.
"the roads gonna twist however the hell it likes, so you may as well stop fretting and enjoy the journey"
"don't shatter something because you fear it might be cracked, just step back and admire its beauty"
There's better times to come, there's better days ahead.
Don't wallow in sorrow, smile, there's always tomorrow.
I'll keep you, nurture you, support you and reap the benefits. But until your next bumper crop i've got my own seeds to sow.
love hard. live harder.
Sorrow: who needs it?
Im a drunk watch me roar
"live, for christs sake its life, she's one part of it, not all, so just live"
Be inspired, to do what comes to mind, but never forget to cherish those that matter in kind.
"Push on. Move on. Never stagnate. But above all; Hold on."
"fuck, i'm 18! what happens happens all i can do is love her after that ITS JUST LIFE."
"the novelty of the situation is lost, and i've nothing left to say to you."
With a blink of an eye a life ends. Why not just agree the odds are against you and have some fun?
"life is more than waiting, although wait we must"
Hear that ticking? Thats procrastination.
"a waiting heart never works, unless it is allowed to pump blood while it waits"
"why should love sit to the side of the room, just because its cause isn't there to dance"
"she can make your world spin. so can five shots of tequila. guess which you have access to"
We'll get up to mischief together, we'll get up to strife. The one thing i know baby is when i look back those were the best days of my life.
The Merry-go-Round's no fun unless your on the horse next to me.
Ingenuity is a trademark of the human - So who says that mouth is just for talking
I'll do my best to surprise you, to fill your world with glee.
A heartbeat into eternity, at the speed of light. I vow to you, to love with all my might.
I'm here to have a good time, so what if my body ceases to work. I'll always have you to patch me up
one day we'll raise our glasses and toast a life together. but before then we will raise many glasses. we might as well fill them with the finest of wines.
"when your life flashes before your eyes you are gonna want to see more than one face"
"don't make me choose between you and my happiness. i'm scared you'll win"

yepp thats about it

Saturday, 25 July 2009

What is this "love" you speak of?

So lately i have been wondering what this whole "love" thing is. I mean... i've watched to movies, i've read the books. But i never got it.
and now i think that maybe... well maybe its there, maybe i'm feeling it. But wouldn't i know for sure? If i loved him wouldn't i be certain of it. Wouldn't i understand what love is? I just don't know.
So, in true xanga junkie fashion i turned to blogrings. Most specifically quotes. Heres a few of the ones i found that spoke to me.
"time has changed nothing at all. you're still the only one that feels like home"
"Imagine a future moment in your life, where all your dreams come true. You know, it's the greatest moment of your life, and you get to experience it with one person. So, who's standing next to you?"
"i think of you in colours that don't exisit."
"you make my world spin faster than any amount of tequila ever could."
"for me, you are the ONE. the rest is just the rest"
"Do you miss him at the most happy and fulfilling times of your life? just because you miss him when the world is quiet and you feel alone doesn`t mean you love him. you will miss anyone when you`re lonely. it`s when your life is going great and you still feel that ache in your heart because he isn`t there to see the genuine smile on your face and happiness in your life."
"nothing feels right when i'm not with you"
Strangely enough, this one also spoke to me. Which makes me think maybe no. NO. Although it doesn't really relate at all because its nothing like him. I mean, so many times he lectured me about drinking, and all my other bad habits.
"You're only happy when I'm wasted. I point my finger but I just can't place it. Feels like I'm falling in love when I'm falling to the bathroom floor. remember how you tasted, I've had you so many times, let's face it. Feels like I'm falling in love alone."
this is a tiny collection of the quotes i have found since this question started nagging at me. Some of them are close. But none are how i feel. I just don't get it.
so, my question to you, dear reader, is this:
What is love? The closest version of it that you can put into words. And should i know whether i do or don't?
-revision: i am not in love; she is.

Monday, 06 April 2009

I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!

I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!
Ok, thats a big fat lie and anyone who knows me know's that its not true. So why do i say it? Not because of the overly common "oh good the next morning was hell" but because of the almost equally common "oh good the next day at work/school was hell." when you have to face your peers and take the crap for what you did.
And, being me, what i did was of course man related and embarassing on a mega scale. Yep thats right i fell victim to the "hook up with a co-worker while drunk off your face" expirience. And oh god did the people who knew me give me crap about it on monday. Not just the ones who were there, EVERYONE evidently new travles fast. Increasingly so when its about me, seemingly.
And, being me, not only did i hook up with him, i then proceeded to shut him down mid pickup for no reason at all and ignore him for the rest of the party. Real smooth huh? So now, i'm pretty much to embarassed to face him. And i hear he's cut pretty bad about it. And so this seems like a i'm never drinking again moment.

Has anything like this ever happened to you? What did you do about it? tell me your story =]
PLEASE tell me it gets better.